Christmas Bonus: A Visit with Henry

 I originally wrote this to amuse myself (and Rhonda Jones, Henry's biggest fan), but I can't resist sharing it here as well, as a little stocking stuffer for anyone who's read and enjoyed Spookygirl: Paranormal Investigator. Enjoy this little holiday visit with the ghostly custodian Violet originally encountered in Spookygirl's first chapter.




A Visit with Henry ('Twas the Night Before Christmas)

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the school
Not a spirit was stirring, no ghost and no ghoul.
I walked past the mural displayed in the hall –
A misshapen Trojan assured to appall.

The tiles underfoot were in need of a clean,
A layer of grime over yellow and green.
The trophy case covered in handprints unclear,
Obscuring its contents (so lame yet so dear).

My Gothlings stayed close, all poised for a spectre,
With cameras, recorders, an EMF detector.
The numbers went crazy, gone right off the scale!
And the air here grew colder with each sharp inhale.

When down near the gym there arose such a fuss –
A grumpy old voice, a gripe and a cuss –
I shouldered my bag – a comforting weight –
And headed on down to investigate.

As I approached, I soon caught the sight
Of a grouchy old phantom who worked through the night
Just cleaning and mopping and scrubbing the place
With lead in his step and a scowl on his face. 

"Missy!" he said when he saw me so near. 
"Look at these smudges of dirt – right down here." 
He pointed and snarled at a place on the floor. 
"Did you track that in when you walked through the door?" 

Before I could answer, he tossed me a frown
And went back to mopping the hall, up and down.
'Twas the very same job he’d done all his life
(And he still did it now to avoid his dead wife).

Oh, how he worked! And oh, how he tried!
It was never an issue before he had died –
But now that had changed. Though he put in the time,
A ghost can’t do much against flesh-and-blood grime. 

"Henry," I said, "I've brought you some aid.
I'm here to be Palmetto High's merry maid.
It's the night before Christmas, you silly old dude,
So quit your complaining. No need to be rude." 

With that we brought forth the supplies we'd amassed –
My friends and I cleaned, and we did it all fast.
We polished the trophy case, swept up the floor,
And sent all the dirt right back out the front door.

The hallway, it sparkled, so overly clean,
Even ol' Henry couldn’t bear to be mean.
He surveyed the place, and he let out a sigh,
And hurriedly blinked a stray tear from his eye.

"Missy," he said, "this I wasn't expecting.
I thought you were just here for spirit detecting.
Can't clean like I used to, which makes me quite blue.
It pains me to say it, but . . . Thanks. All of you."

"No problem," I said, suppressing a scoff. 
 "Just have a good evening. Enjoy your night off." 
And I heard Henry say as he faded from sight, 
"Spooky Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

------

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone! And of course, it wouldn't be a properly spooky Christmas without some creepy decorations, so here are a few of my favorites:

 

Halloween: I Win

My friend Dava sent me what just might be the coolest Halloween decoration ever:

ZOMBIE LAWN FLAMINGO.

(Totally worthy of capslock.)

He might just have to be a part of the year-round decor. I'll get him a scarf and a teeny Santa hat for Christmas. Because, you know... It's not a proper Christmas without at least one zombie, right?

I'm on the eBay!

So you guys . . . I kind of bought myself on eBay.

A few weeks ago I noticed someone had auctioned an ARC of Spookygirl: Paranormal Investigator for close to $27. A search brought me to a current auction for another copy of Spookygirl with a Buy It Now price of just over $5, but that auction listed the book as a hardcover.

Huh? Even I didn't have a hardcover in hand at the time. Curious (and egged on by several friends), I BINed the listing.

Instead of a mysteriously premature hardcover, I received what I expected -- an ARC. This is awesome news, because it means I have a spare copy. I've been planning to have a giveaway for an ARC anyway, and now I can have two winners instead of one.

I'll be announcing the details of the giveaway here, on Spookygirl's Facebook page, and on my Twitter really soon, and there'll be several ways to enter, so keep an eye out!

I have to admit -- it was pretty amusing to search for my last name on eBay and actually get a result. And no, I don't think the seller noticed his buyer was also the book's author.

But can he carry a tune?

A new film adaptation of The Great Gatsby? I was skeptical. It seemed unnecessary.

...Until I learned Baz Luhrmann was directing and co-writing. Um, yes please. I'm on board.

Is it wrong, though, that I sort of wish Baz had gone completely Moulin Rouge with this and made it a musical? Yeah, that's probably wrong. I don't care. Sing, Gatsby! Sing from inside a building shaped like an elephant!

Anxiety Priorities

Spent yesterday evening at a downtown Augusta bar with some friends. It was karaoke night.

I sang.

It was terrifying. I was more nervous last night than I was at the awards breakfast last June.

There's probably something wrong with that. Anxiety priorities, anyone? My issues with stage fright go all the way back to a botched solo during a fourth grade play, so getting up on stage and making it all the way through a song . . .

Yeah, I'm pretty pleased with myself today.

I don't know how well I did, but at least I'm pretty sure my performance topped Bridget Jones's. However, I wouldn't mind a pair of sparkly tinsel antennae like hers to wear during my next number.  Because yeah, I might just do it again sometime. Someone hide the Journey tracks before I can get to 'em!

(No, I didn't bust out with "Don't Stop Believing" last night. I sang Train's "Hey, Soul Sister.")

Between Insanity and Eccentricity

Unless you're troubled by a little language (like my family that time I yelled at the neighbors after a hurricane because they'd set up their generator too near my window and I was tired of the fumes), this post over at Terrible Minds may amuse you: 25 Reasons that Writers are Bug-F*ck Nuts.

Authors have a lot of leeway when it comes to wacky behavior. Sometimes the only divider between insanity and eccentricity is a publishing contract, and I think I'm going to enjoy finally being over here on the eccentric side. Talking out loud to my characters is now a legitimate creative exercise instead of just another reason to consider medication. Sweet.

Local Legends: The Haunted Pillar

I'm visiting one of my bestest friends, Rhonda, in Augusta, Georgia. Rhonda and I are fans of all things spooky, so we sought out the Haunted Pillar, a piece of Augusta mythology.

The pillar's legend depends on who's telling it. The link above has a few interpretations; the version I hear usually combines those into the tale of a progressive preacher who cursed the pillar of a slave market to punish those involved in the selling of slaves. Anyone who touches the pillar is supposed to be struck dead.

We didn't just touch it. We hugged it. We're awesome like that. That was over a week ago, and we're both still alive, so I'm thinking we might have escaped the curse. Since this isn't even really the original pillar, that makes sense. Then again, none of the legends include a time limit, so I guess it eventually comes true for everyone . . .